First Bar-B-Q in Kyrg...Shenanigans...Forever!

JAllen · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

Yesterday, I'm in here waiting for a couple lazy musicians to show up for band practice.

I get a call from one of our best customers, an American guy.

"JAllen, I'd like to order ten kilos of ribs."

me: "Okey." I'm happy right now.

"JAllen, I'd like them raw and with no rub on them."

I felt like I'd been kicked in the groin by a mule with a hot brand on his ass.

24 hours later and it still hurts.
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Jarhead · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

Jeff, quote the same price. Cooked or Raw. Shocked

You can always tell the ladies that you are shooting a commercial for the TV station. Wink

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Poppa's PTL Club · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

RodinBangkok · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

My first response to a request like this would be to ask in a concerned manner why they want your product uncooked. It may give you some valuable feedback on your offerings. There is nothing more valuable than constructive criticism.
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BBQMAN · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

I wouldn't take it personally.

As an American in a very foreign environment I'd say the guy is just looking to cook his own and have a typical (for us) backyard Q of his own

However, you are a restaurant, not a butcher shop!

So either offer them up at a marked up price for your troubles, or point him in the direction of the meat market.
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JAllen · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

Thanks for the feedback and advice on the raw ribs issue. I think the guy like bbqman said just wants to have his own backyard bbq.

In other news, the jawdropping continues. Mrs. JAllen, in trying to help in any way she can returned from our bazaar with a coke-can-sized can of chinese stuff that will make our lamb bbq better and more tender. (Remember my earlier post of the hottie Kyrgyz mom cutting Junior's lamb with a butter knife.).

I don't have my camera right now, so I'm writing off the back of the chinese label, (mistakes included)

Gangdong 100% Natural

Usage: apply to cattle, sheep, pigs, chickens, ducks, dog, such as kebob and cook to make tough meat nen hua delicious. Old children digestible absorption and shorten the cooking time to save energy. Restaurants, meat processing plants and home use.

Ingredients: use starch, sodium bicarbonate, edible salt, peng soft agent.

Mrs. JAllen says all the shishkabob guys are using it to make their kabobs soft.

I suggested she first use it to wash her hair, and if it makes her hair soft, then we could discuss using it and changing our advertising slogan:

"At Smokie's, we use only wood, smoke, spices and some Chinese stuff out of a plastic can called Gangdong."
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Geronimo · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

BBQMAN · Posted: Jun 07 2011 Post subject:

daddywoofdawg · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

At Smokie's, we use only wood, smoke, spices and some Chinese stuff that makes Old children digestible!
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Harry Nutczak · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

My guess would be that the mystery canned substance may contain "Papain" which is a compound derived from a papaya.
That is the active ingredient in most meat tenderizers sourced from countries that have food laws.

But, this is a product from China where they thought it would be beneficial to add melamine to their exported grains, and in turn killed humans and pets alike. Then we get into lead used in children's products, rawhide and smoked pig ears loaded with arsenic and formaldehyde! Do I need to go on?
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BBQMAN · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

JAllen · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

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JAllen · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

edited dup
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JAllen · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

JAllen · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

In other news, there is no other news. The place is deadder than disco in 1984. In case there are any photo ops, I have my handy dandy camera ready.

The smoker is full of ribs and chicken; last night we made a prime rib roast that was pretty good.
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RodinBangkok · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

Dog is in fact a normal item in many countries....I mean you guys eat Bambi all the time, so why not a pooch now and then!....Anyway about this seasoning, I would be very careful about buying this based on your current location. If you don't know the original brand, it could be a popular one in China, and frankly a good one, say like Morton's. So what happens is some small local company makes a knock off of the good local Chinese brand, and then sells it black market outside China. Thailand has become very savvy to these types of scams, and has a lot of protection setup to prevent this coming in normal channels, I'm not so sure about your situation and how well you might be protected in your location, so be careful about where you buy this stuff. In my travels to Laos, Cambodia, Burma I've seen a lot of popular brands knocked off and would not touch them, especially food related. Although I love to pick up some as conversation pieces, one of my favourites is a bottle of Buck Genital Liqueur, that always gets a laugh when people see it on the bar at home.
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Geronimo · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

If you are looking to make certain meats more tender, try using enzymes or citric acid (think lemons, limes, pineapple, papaya, etc)

Here is a link that explains some features of certain fruits and such used as tenderizers that you should be able to buy at your local market.
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BBQMAN · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

JAllen · Posted: Jun 08 2011 Post subject:

I'm sure that everyone is taking this with a grain of Gangdong, as I intended.

Still, Mrs. JAllen did bring the stuff.

Regarding tender meat, I did mention twice that the hottie mom was cutting the lamb with a butter knife. Enough said about tender.

We should all appreciate just how far any tenderizer can penetrate a full lamb leg or other large hunk of meat.

There may be some sense in using it on shishkabobs, as the pieces of meat are quite small.

Regarding domesticated animals, I have two German Shepherds and trained sport horses for more than a decade.

Having said that, I've met both dogs and horses that are better suited for food than as pets.

I've never eaten dog, despite many invitations, but they make some good horse sausage here.

It's called Kazi.

Wait. Aren't pigs considered domesticated animals? I hear they make great pets, but most of them never get the chance.

Reminds me of that conversation in Pulp Fiction about dogs and pigs.
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