First Bar-B-Q in Kyrg...Shenanigans...Forever!

JAllen · Posted: Nov 18 2011 Post subject:

Friday Night 830 and we are rocking. People are reserving tables now regularly.

Calling and asking what we've still got.

The orders are coming angry and with velocity.

It's so bad that Ilia, our former cook who called and asked if he could come and work as a waiter is hiding in the kitchen.

I told him, "If you can't stand the heat, go back in the kitchen."
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 21 2011 Post subject:

Now coming: BBQ number two in Bishkek?

Last night Mrs, JAllen was in here closing the place.

After the gates were closed, a couple locals start knocking on them so she goes out to find Urmat, a local big spender and overall nice guy together with Kuba, the proprietor of the only Mexican place in the city.

Now, the background on this is that Kuba is the brother-in-law of one of our best customers, Kevin. Kevin works out here and helped Kuba with all the start-up stuff for the Mexican Cantina.

You might remember that Mrs. JAllen and I visited the Cantina a month or so ago, and gave it a thumbs up, except for the lack of parking. It's very centrally located, and next to the UN building here. It's also smoke free and very clean.

Anyway, Kuba and Urmat come in and they've had a few and are fixing to have a few more. Kuba and Mrs. JAllen are going back and forth about customers they know who visit both places, when Kuba mentions that they've bought an expensive smoker and plan to do BBQ.

I think they were both surprised at the number of customers we have in common.

emoticon.

Now, wether that happens or not, the interesting thing is that it got me thinking. Until this morning, I had never seriously entertained the idea that someone else being of sound mind would try to do this.

It's really a bad idea to open any restaurant at all in this city.

But the possibility obviously exists and may become a reality in the near future.

So now I'm looking from the outside at our business and asking what would I do if I was trying to be the second BBQ restaurant here.

I'm also thinking about what we would do if in fact there would be another bbq place. Honestly, I think it would cause us to change some things, and I think it would make us a better restaurant.

We'll see what happens.
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BBQMAN · Posted: Nov 21 2011 Post subject:

It's currently a niche' business for you.

A 2nd BBQ option may (or may not) be good for your business.

We have a place that opened directly across the street from another BBQ, and seems to be doing quite well regardless.

Frankly, it depends on what they are offering compared to you, and how good your food/service/atmosphere stacks up.

BTW, an expensive commercial smoker won't make their BBQ any better than a cheap cooker, but it does make the process easier and more consistent.

And consistency is the trick with good Q.

We have all debated the the "it's the cook, not the cooker" thing here at length.

IMHO it's both- with a heavy emphasis on the former.
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 23 2011 Post subject:

JAllen · Posted: Nov 23 2011 Post subject:

Well, Thanksgiving is getting off to a slow and late start.

First, our turkey supplier had a heart attack. Her son said he could give us turkeys, but couldn't pluck them. Then he couldn't even give us live turkeys because he's visiting mom in the hospital.

So we finally got another supplier amidst a bunch of phone calls for whole turkeys.

That, and the city was pounced on by a snot storm this morning and I'm driving in at 6am with 11 inch wheels on my microvan.

I'm driving slow and fishtailing...almost couldn't get out of my driveway...I'm sweating and it's below freezing outside.

Slow and steady wins the race...I'm thinking, "I'm k.a.m. but not as nice of a guy."

Well, I get in and Sasha the latest night guy is asleep in the J-Lo room.

The turkeys arrive at 1pm and we're prepping them to go into the brine having no idea how many we'll sell.

It's the kinda thing where it could be packed with a bunch of Americans, or it could be dead with all the Americans staying home.

We're expecting more snow this week, and yesterday was slow with snow.

We also got about six lbs. of giblets for stuffing/gravy...

I'm already feeling the holiday atmosphere brewing as I watch the replay of the Oregon-USC game.

-We're gonna be like ninjas, but with sweaty balls. (Harry N.)
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 23 2011 Post subject:

In what could be the worst news of the year...

Remember over two weeks ago, I thought I sprained my ankle falling off the stage at dolls in my Fred Flintstone costume.

My ankle still hurts like...it hurts so bad I can't think of a good simile to let you know how bad it hurts.

Mrs. JAllen is getting tired of the limping and wincing and has just told me to man up before heading into the kitchen to make some more pumpkin pies.

I told her we need a herd of celery sticks for the stuffing.
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 23 2011 Post subject:

2pm Wednesday and we just got our third request for a whole bird for tomorrow.
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BBQMAN · Posted: Nov 23 2011 Post subject:

Sounds like you might have a stress fracture, not just a sprain.

If that's the case you need to get off of it and wear a boot to stabilize it or it isn't going to get better.

After hearing of the medical care there all I can offer is good luck on getting a proper diagnosis (although an x-ray rarely lies)! Shocked

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Geronimo · Posted: Nov 23 2011 Post subject:

Turkeys (like all poultry) are not all that hard to pluck. Quickly dip them into boiling water and remove them and you can easily remove the feathers.

As far as the pin feathers, you can use a flame of some kind (torch, gas flame on a stove, etc) to singe them off.

For your ankle, it has only been 3 weeks or so and even though you should get an ex ray to be sure, a sprain takes MUCH longer to heal than a break or fracture.

I agree with BBQMAN, proper shoes/boots (NOT FLIPFLOPS) would be key to proper support for it. Shocked

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NAVET · Posted: Nov 24 2011 Post subject:

I have spent better than 4 hours reading this and I am not quite sure what to say!

To deal with the minute by minute highs and lows from every direction AND remain in business in spite of and through it all.....

Sir, you have the testicular fortitude of a brahma bull!!

I wish you the best of luck in business and in life. You deserve it!
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GF · Posted: Nov 24 2011 Post subject:

JAllen, Good luck with the thanksgiving turkeys and the ankle.
See what happens when you wear a flinstone costume to a jiggle joint. Wink

It's also nice when the wife tells you to man up. Rolling Eyes

I'm sure you'll do fine, after reading all your ups and downs here, you got this covered easy. Happy thanksgiving.

JAllen · Posted: Nov 24 2011 Post subject:

BBQMAN, Geronimo, GF, thank you for the helpful comments and advice. And Happy Thanksgiving to you.
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 24 2011 Post subject:

JAllen · Posted: Nov 29 2011 Post subject:

Took some time off from posting over the holiday.

After doing a couple practice turkeys before Thanksgiving, we got our brine on and rounded up a bunch of birds.

The last bird we did, Nikita let go to 170 in the breast, so I told him these we need to watch and take to 160, after doing some research.

After lunch, the birds are smoking and I ask Nikita if he'd checked the temps.

"I checked an hour ago and they were 130."

Well, there was some stuffing to be made and some other stuff to do, and when Nikita next opened the smoker they were at 180.

180.

It was at this time that I felt like the Bill Bukner or the Steve Bartman of the BBQ world.

Well, after some cooling off, we cut into the breasts and they were fine.

I'll never do another turkey without brining.
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 29 2011 Post subject:

dup edit
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 29 2011 Post subject:

And now we have some real excitement.

For about the past month, we've been having this Canadian guy coming in almost every day.

I'll call him Vern.

He's been out here for a couple months working at the base and has had the opportunity to meet a lot of nice girls, and has even found himself a girlfriend, "Lola."

He like to chat and he can sit at the bar for 7-10 hours and drink three beers and eat about six nuts.

We've gotten to know him quite well as you might when someone spends so much time at your bar.

Now, his girlfriend, Lola, is a piece of work and they're often in some arguement or misunderstanding, which is not surprising considering he speaks no Russian, and her English is almost non-exixtent.

She came in here one time with smoke shooting out both ears looking for Vern, thinking he was with another girl. Another time she called asking for him.

Anyway, as described by Vern, her job is...well I'm not sure what her job is, but maybe it's something to do with translating, but not English.

She has a nice car, but I was a bit surprised to hear that she had made a 300-mile trip to the south during a recent snow. The trip also involves passing the highest mountain pass in Central Asia.

Brave girl.

About a week after this, Vern tells me that he learned she has another job that is moving "contraband clothing" around.

Contraband clothes? Well anyway, the plot thickens and it turns out that most of her friends are "working girls," her ex was a gangster who was killed and I'm thinking that Vern might be better off with a less exciting girlfriend.

Nothing doing...
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JAllen · Posted: Nov 29 2011 Post subject:

Vern's girllfriend.

Next I hear she's off on another "clothes contraband" trip to Tajikistan and at that point, I'm convinced she's moving something other than clothes around and I tell Vern what I think.

He's just laughing. But he's in drinking beers and he's brought a bunch of people from the base in and he's genuinely a nice guy and has a lot of good stories to tell.

But then Saturday night things change.

Vern's in early, about noon.

He's had a major falling out with Lola and they're finished.

She had gone somewhere working, tried to call him late in the am and he was sleeping and didn't answer the phone. She was sure he was with another girl so started texting him some nasty messages in "entertaining" English.

Some of the texts included:

Why are you making nervous for me?

Fook on you!

(and when she was sure he was with someone else) - Bravo for you, Baby.

So he tells me it's over and he's sitting here at the bar when two big, tough, mean looking, never before seen locals show up and sit at the bar next to him.

They start buying him vodka shots...
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Brian Briggs · Posted: Nov 29 2011 Post subject:

It is illegal to stop a story this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oregon smoker · Posted: Nov 29 2011 Post subject:

Oh man the plot thickens or thins on your point of view.
Are they buying him good vodka at least? Shocked

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JAllen · Posted: Nov 29 2011 Post subject:

They're buying him cheap vodka.

Vodka at $1.25 a shot.

But that's not the worst of it.

Next thing I know, thug number one takes off his watch and asks me to check if it's real and how much it might cost. It's a Breitling Bentley, and I'm not happy to see it on or off of this guy's wrist.

They're in the process of getting Vern really liquored up when I make the connection.

Vern has just dumped his girlfriend of the likely dubious career choice. She's sent these two to see Vern.

Since they, or one of them speaks some English...

me: "Hey, Vern, time to drain your main vein, like pronto."

Vern goes outside and I run into the kitchen, out the side door and catch him on his way to the head.

I tell him what I think of the whole situation, and Mr. Watch and that maybe he should be careful.

He's pretty tipsy from the vodka, tells me he's been around awhile and smiles on his way to the restroom.

Well, I've done my part, maybe too much.

When I get back inside, the two thugs start telling me what I nice guy I am and teling me they can offer some "help" if I might need it...especially if we have any problems from the police.

I tell them we're pretty much covered and they go on drinking. Vern comes back in and heads out for home or for Good Zone where he's been invited by Sima, the naughty nurse. She's having a hen party for her friend and somehow Vern got himself invited.

Well, they didn't run out after him, which was good, but they hung around here until I asked them to pay and they didn't have any money.

So they had to call a friend to bring some money.

When I asked the friend to pay, he got all up in my grille saying they were still drinking.

I got back up in his grille and said they could keep on drinking after they paid for what they'd already ordered.

Then they start on this "cheap Canadian counting every penny" stuff, which guaranteed it would be the last time I would serve them anything.

Now it's Tuesday am and I'm wondering what happened to Vern.
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