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Old Men Rock.

 
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whitey
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04 10 11:59 pm    Post subject: Old Men Rock. Reply with quote

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..
An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-#&*$#.
If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however… I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too… I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.. He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head..
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50…in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They’ll have it secured the first night!
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SmokeHound
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

YUP!
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tacklebox
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's pretty funny whitey. The best part is, it's true Very Happy
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whitey
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 10:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You bet.
Yup,it is..
Good times.
Whitey.
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ckone
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 11:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good one Whitey.
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Soapm
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 11:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You old farts nap too much to be talking about fighting. Not to mention, there's not enough tree's in the desert for your frequent potty breaks... Smile
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tacklebox
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Soapm wrote:
You old farts nap too much to be talking about fighting. Not to mention, there's not enough tree's in the desert for your frequent potty breaks... Smile


Plus, I never heard of the 'Early Bird' mess hall Shocked
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Mrs. K.A.M.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the laugh Laughing
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k.a.m.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tacklebox wrote:
Soapm wrote:
You old farts nap too much to be talking about fighting. Not to mention, there's not enough tree's in the desert for your frequent potty breaks... Smile


Plus, I never heard of the 'Early Bird' mess hall Shocked

Joe that's because you need to be an early bird to find the worm. Laughing
Thanks for the laugh my Brother. I may print this out and bring it down to the recruiters. maybe start a petition. I want to be one of those long distant mail carriers, you know wait for the flash type of guy. Very Happy
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tacklebox
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Very Happy
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k.a.m.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05 10 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tacklebox wrote:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Very Happy

Ha Ha you have a point my Friend. Very Happy Laughing
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milt
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06 10 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

tacklebox wrote:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Very Happy


And other fringe benefits Wink


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BBQMAN
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06 10 12:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes we do even though I'm not that old (yet, but getting there!).

Curt- that's just bad dude, very bad! Razz
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k.a.m.
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06 10 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeppers that pic is wrong in so many ways. Laughing Nothing like taking advantage of a guy when he is down. Razz
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patruns
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06 10 2:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

milt wrote:
tacklebox wrote:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Very Happy


And other fringe benefits Wink



Greek mice?
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Soapm
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06 10 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

k.a.m. wrote:
Yeppers that pic is wrong in so many ways. Laughing Nothing like taking advantage of a guy when he is down. Razz


Taking advantage, that mouse must be a nymph...

I wonder what the FDA was testing that manifested necrophilia in that pervert??? Probably Lima beans (yuck)...
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Oregon smoker
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06 10 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

milt wrote:
tacklebox wrote:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Very Happy


And other fringe benefits Wink




You owe a new laptop, i jut spit a mouthful of Jim Beam all over the damn thing... Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Soapm
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 07 10 2:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oregon smoker wrote:
milt wrote:
tacklebox wrote:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Very Happy


And other fringe benefits Wink




You owe a new laptop, i jut spit a mouthful of Jim Beam all over the damn thing... Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing


Why should he pay because you can't hold your liquor?
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