New year "marketing letter"..

[Rolling Smoke]

I have received a lot of letters like this from suppliers and perspective suppliers and while none of them were from caterers, this letter tells me all I want to know or need to know about what type of business person you are and what kind of service I can expect from you.
_________________
Jim

[BBQMAN]

[Bluegrass BBQ]

Marv, Much better. Still just a little wordy for me but that's just me. You don't want to loose their interest. I believe these types of letters should be short and to the point. What they are looking for is what does this have to do with me and how can it help me or my company? Good job.
_________________
Bluegrass BBQ
"Smoked to perfection"
http://www.smokedtoperfection.com/

[Rolling Smoke]

The letter was very informative but from a purchasing point of view, it was too lengthy. While it gave me a detailed history of Marv and how he conducts his business, I had to force myself to keep reading it through to the end.
From a buyers perspective, I want to feel like the decision I'm making is going to be best for the company and my career. With the market being as competitive as it is these days, I have a steady stream of salesmen pushing for face time in an attempt to get my business. If I were to contract Marv (or anyone for that matter) and the services provided did not live up to my bosses expectations, the nicely worded letter is going to do little to get me off the hook.

Just my opinion.
_________________
Jim

[marvsbbq]

In the letter, I not only want to tell about "Marv's BBQ" but tell the client WHY choosing Marv's over "another caterer" is the best choice. (therefore the reference to "other caterers").

If I were just to tell about "Marv's BBQ" with no reference to "other caterers" why would a client make the change from who (caterer) they currently use and choose Marv's??...Certainly not just becasue they got a letter in the mail from Marv's...don't think anyway.

I think they need something to "compare" what Marv's has to offer VS what another caterer has to offer.

My "idea" for this letter came from a letter I recently received from a mortgage broker I had used when we first bought our house (2001).

We were in the market to re-fi and were actually in talks with another broker and changed from that broker to the one that sent me the letter....We close next week.

[hoverlover]

I think the others on this thread are making great content suggestions, so I will comment on grammatical and spelling errors if that's OK. Nothing says "unprofessional" to me more than a letter that contains grammatical or spelling errors.

[smalltruck]

[marvsbbq]

Thanks gang for all your suggestions. I read them all and made some suggested changes where I thought were needed. Especially the grammer..

Here is the "newly revised" letter, tell me what you think and please feel free to use any or all as you see fit for your own use.

Dear

The holidays are passed and another new year is upon us… Thanks to all who booked their events with us over the past fifteen years! It is now time to settle in and welcome 2009 and we all hope it will be a better year than the past. Over the years, we at Marv’s BBQ have come to realize and be grateful for many things: our health, our family, our friends, and we are very grateful for being able to serve you as your Barbecue Caterer.

As most other caterers are focusing on “high end” catering (fancy stuff), we chose a different path. We wanted to help our customers get the best possible food at affordable prices, no matter what their financial situation. That is why we became proficient in providing a catering service that is affordable to anyone, and is the reason we are still in the catering business today. We have a strong conscience as well as a high code of ethics, and strive to serve our clients with the best catering possible.

As your barbecue caterer, we focus on providing professional service, on site cooking with quality, sanitary, state of the art equipment and using the highest quality products available along with many small extras that are not easy to see….all at an affordable price.

So…if you need help with catering…whether it is to boost morale in your work place, employee recognition, wedding, birthday, retirement, funeral (we have catered many),or any special event, please give us a call @ (360)-459-7729. Even if you think you can’t afford a caterer, give us a call and let’s discuss your situation. As you already know, we cannot cater for free, but we are more affordable than most people think a caterer can (or should) be. Please think of us if friends or family members need a caterer as well.

We have been able to stay in the catering business because of you-our past clients and contacts who have allowed us to serve you with your catering needs. Please help us so that we may continue to assist you and other clients with fair, ethical pricing options for years to come!

Thank for trusting us with your catering needs and referrals in the past, we look forward to being part of your future as well.

Have a Happy & Prosperous New Year!

Marv Tuter
Marv’s Marvlus Pit Bar-B-Q Inc.

[hoverlover]

One more spelling error I see Marv

[Grnmtn BBQ Chef]

Dear

The holidays are passed and another new year is upon us… Thanks to all who booked their events with us over the past fifteen years! It is now time to settle in and welcome 2009 and we all hope it will be a better year than the past. Over the years, we at Marv’s BBQ have come to realize and be grateful for many things: our health, our family, our friends and we are very grateful for being able to serve you as your Barbecue Caterer.

As most other caterers are focusing on “high end” catering (fancy stuff) we chose a different path. We wanted to help our customers get the best possible food at affordable prices, no matter what their financial situation. That is why we became proficient in providing a catering service that is affordable to anyone and is the reason we are still in the catering business today. We have a strong conscience as well as a high code of ethics and strive to serve our clients with the best catering possible.

As your barbecue caterer, we focus on providing professional service, on site cooking with quality, sanitary, state of the art equipment. We use only the highest quality products available along with many small extras that are not easy to see….all at an affordable price.

So…if you need help with catering, whether it is to boost morale in your work place, employee recognition, wedding, birthday, retirement, funeral (we have catered many*),or any special event, please give us a call @ (360)-459-7729. Even if you think you can’t afford a caterer, give us a call and let’s discuss your situation. As you already know, we cannot cater for free, but we are more affordable than most people think a caterer can (or should) be. Please think of us if friends or family members need a caterer as well. *I would take this out as it is a slight bit tacky

Marv’s has been able to stay in the catering business because of “you” our past clients and contacts who have allowed us to serve you with your catering needs. Please help us so that we may continue to assist you and other clients with fair, ethical pricing options for years to come! * are you suggesting others in your area are shady?
Thank you for trusting us with your catering needs and referrals in the past. We look forward to being part of your future as well.

Have a Happy & Prosperous New Year!

I took out all the commas infront of and... Some of the longer sentence structure I broke up to form smaller pargraphs. I also personalized certaint areas rather then the third person stuff. now let see if the highlighting worked. This is a nice break from my year end books... thanks for the break!
_________________
Eat hearty and live life to the fullest..... Chef Brian

Meadow Creek PR72T modified adding a 2nd Meadow Creek PR 60 this week and 2 well loved Red Rivers going into retirement

[Poppa's PTL Club]

Marv, I write up a lot of corporate communications and am often asked to consolidate and punch up letters for our company. See if this re-write helps at all (along with the others, I thought your first draft focused too much on your competitors and was a little wordy). Here you go:

Dear XXXX

Wow, another new year is upon us… Thanks to all who booked their events with us in 2008 and prior. We welcome 2009 and hope it will be an even better year than the one just past.

Over the years, I have come to realize and be grateful for many things: my health, my family, my friends and a wonderful career in service to you as a Barbecue Caterer. Over the years, I have strived to help my customers no matter what their financial situation and provide excellent food at reasonable prices Fortunately, I have become proficient in providing a catering service with options which make my services within the reach of the average joe.

As you may have heard, I focus on providing quality food and professional service on your site while cooking with quality, sanitary, state of the art equipment and using the highest quality products available. I also provide many small extras that are not easy to see but which have a high impact on your enjoyment of your catered event. I buy products fresh for each event and cook on site, providing not just a catered event, but an experience.

Obviously, I'm not writing for my health, I want to continue to be Washington's premier caterer of on-site smoked foods and I need you to help me continue to be successful at doing something I love. So…if you need help with catering…whether it is to boost morale in your work place, employee recognition, wedding, birthday, retirement…funeral (we have catered many), even if you think you can’t afford a caterer-call me and let’s discuss your situation. My services are more reasonable than most people think a caterer can be.

Thank you for trusting me with your catering needs and referrals in the past-I look forward to being part of your future as well.
Happy New Year!

Marv Tuter
“Your friend in the catering business!”
_________________
I likes to eat 'da pig!
Acts 11:5-9

[BBQMAN]

Sweet Poppa, that ones a keeper to be sure!

Speaking of sweet, where have you been?

Hope all is well, and that you were not out of commission due to sweet slaw ingestion!
_________________
BBQMAN
"I Turned A Hobby Into A Business".
Providing "IMHO" Since 2005.

[Poppa's PTL Club]

[marvsbbq]

Thanks a lot Poppa's PTL Club for doing this. I knew by posting here I would get some GOOD (and some not so good) ideas.

I took your re-write and made yet a couple of changes but now have a final letter than I feel I can send out and get positive results back from.

Thanks again to EVERYONE that contributed thoughts and feed back to this thread.

Marv

[OddThomas]

[marvsbbq]

Thanks Mike, that's a great help!! Your expertise shines through....again.

[adolpho]

Hey Marv,
I agree with those that say grammar shows professionalism. Make sure whomever writes it, whether it's you or not, has an editor to read it over. Even OT made a mistake:

[OddThomas]

[adolpho]

[marvsbbq]

I started this thread not only to discuss my letter, but to give other caterers (business people in general) an "idea" that might work for them to help increase sales for the upcoming year.

So ANY help/advice is VERY much apprecaited!!