OMG did i get in over my head!

[TasunkaWitko]

get a cup of coffee, this ones going to be involved....please excuse the sloppy use (non-use) of quotation marks.

so i was sitting there innocently trying to decide how to best celebrate my wife's birthday tomorrow (well, now it's actually today) with her, when lo and behold, the phone rings. it's my mother asking me if i had heard about the rib cook-off tomorrow (errr...later today). i said no, that's cool; it looks like i am too late for it but i'll have them put me on the list for next year. she said well, you should call down there and see what's up because it looks to be pretty informal. i replied that it's melissa's birthday tomorrow (yes, later today) and we'll probably not do it since i had never done an actual cook-off before and oh, by the way, i only started doing ribs earlier this summer. she said yeah, you got a point, next year looks good....so i hang up.

my wife asks what that was about and i tell her. she says well you should check it out, your ribs are good. i said i know they're good but i've never done anything like a competition before - besides, all i've got is an ECB. she says well check it out anyway. i mentioned that it could get expensive since we didn't have anything in the house (ingredients etc.) and she said well, there could be prize money.

so i call the guy (local eagles club) and ask him what's up with this rib cook off. his reply was, and i quote, "come down and pick the ribs up, then cook em tomorrow." i say woah, fella - YOU supply the ribs? he said yep. i said well let me think about it and he says i've only got one entry's worth left.

my brain must have been on vacation, because the next thing out of my mouth was put my name on them, i'll be right there.

so i go there and he says here ya go - and tosses two huge packages at me. holy $#!%, i said, what's this? 30 lbs of ribs, says he. 30 POUNDS? with a P? yep, 15 lbs. each package - one country style, the other spares. so my mind races....i've got my ecb, my dad hasn't used his since he bought it in 1997 and it's languishing in his garage, so i can get that, and i had just bought one that i wanted to put together with all of the mods. that makes three - surely i can fit 30 lbs. of ribs into three ecbs. alright, i'll see you tomorrow - when does it start? he says you and your team show up about 1 pm and we'll eat at 6 and judge them - nothing formal, really. it's just a fund raiser and whoever buys tickets to come and eat gets to vote for what they like.

team? i said? yeah - you can have a team. how may people are in a bloody team i ask? oh, three or four, says he.

so i call my dad, his calendar is quite full tomorrow. my wife has a co-worker who would be interested, but he's actually working out of town this weekend. all of my co-workers are in the town where i work, 20 miles away. but wait, i've got three teenage boys, and a 6 yr old for a mascot, even - hot dang, and they even have matching t-shirts, maybe we can name the team and write it on their shirts in sharpie or something.

little did i know that they wouldn't be as enthusiastic about this as i was. # 3 son (13) started crying, #2 son (16) said heck yeah, i'm in (which is the same thing he would have said if i would have proposed jumping off a cliff with a grenade in each hand and no parachute, #1 son (just turned 1 said he'd tag along and the 6 year old looked confused.

so i got my team together and had the two older boys trim the ribs up (membrane) while #3 son and i went to to town 20 miles away to get a few things. i was just going to buy the stuff at the little local grocery here, even though it's a bit more expensive than wal-mart 20 miles away, but when we got to said little local grocery, we dicovered that it did not carry the rub that i use (durkee's st. louis style). well, i said, maybe i could use lowrey's seasoned salt as a rub. a good place in great falls uses that. #3 son who if you remember had been nearly in tears over being conscripted to participate earlier, said dad, if you're going to do it, don't you want to do it right? dang son, i raised you right after all, i said, so we drove the 20 miles, got the groceries (mop ingredients, foil and saran wrap, extra charcoal etc.)and rub at considerably less cost, and actually saved a little money versus buying them in town. on top of it all, of course, we got to use my preferred rub. with gas, of course, we probably lost a bit of money, but it was quality time and i regret it not. besides, i got my rub!

so we get home and i lay out my ECB grates (including my dad's, which i had borrowed some time ago for some forgotten project). with a little creativity, i am just barely able able to lay the country ribs out on three grates and the spares on three grates (the spares are cut across the ribs into portions about as long as a keyboard up to the number pad and as wide as the three rows of letters on a keyboard, the spares are cut about the same size). i prepare the grates one at a time by setting them on tinfoil, to make them into a platter of sorts, then i take the ribs on that grate and toss them in a bowl. i sprinkle a little rub on the spares in the bowl and stir them around to distribute, then pour in a little mustard (hopefully, this will be one of my secret ingredients) and stir them around again. then i sprinkle just a touch of rub on and take the surprisingly-even-coated portions and lay them out on the grate. because of their shape, i can pretty well ring them around the thing working in cncentric circles with the pieces getting smaller as i go to the middle, until an errant chunk or two fills in the center, then finally sprinkle a little more ub on top, taking care to try not to overwhelm. i do this with all six grates, then fold in the corners and edges of the foil underneath, cover and wrap the tops in saran wrap and refrigerate. since there isn't enough room in my fridge, i take three out to my parent's place - bet they loved me showing up at their door in the middle of the night. i didn't dare call because i didn't want to wake them up, but as it turns out, they were up anyway. tomorrow, all i gotta do is rip the saran and foil away and set them on the grate. i used to use separate platters, but after a few mishaps decided to try this.

so the hard part is done, i thought. then i get my dad's ecb and my own ecb, make sure all fittings are tight (i actually had a grate and waterpan slip off on me once and put out my charcoal) and then cleaned/wiped them down a bit and set them aside, confident that they were ready and up to the challenge. i assembled my new ecb that had been in the box (i'll drill holes in the charcoal pan tomorrow and have a little grate to put in the charcoal pan, but unfortunately the pan will still be connected to the ECB as i don't yet have all the parts to implement that mod - i'll make it work, though, i hope). so i've got my ECB platoon lined up, and somethng doesn't seem right. - !#$@%!!!! gotta season the new one!

as luck would have it the two cheapy wal-mart grills i got in order to get the round grill grates (to put in the bottom of the charcoal pans of the two that didn't already have a grate - in order to create airflow and help with ash choking) each have a little bag of light-the-bag charcoal - which will be perfect for seasoning the new ecb. i didn't want to use my lump because i don't have much and it is very hard to come by up here, so this works out perfectly (i think i'll be buying a bag of kingsford briquettes tomorrow, and if so, will distribute them evenly amongst the lump). so i spray the inside of the new ECB with pam and light the charcoal, which is burning merrily as we speak.

so, as of now, everything is about as ready as can be. tomorrow (later today!) we will prepare our mop that has worked very well (a combination of equal parts dr. pepper and low-sodium soy sauce with a little olive oil) and will also cut the cheapy wal-mart grill grates to fit the charcoal pans that don't have grates (2). will also prepare the wood chips. i found last week that a very good smoke flavor and aroma can be had by blending equal parts cherry, maple and apple together, and figured i will try this again later today (yes, my mind has finally accepted that it is three in the morning). for the competition. i will make a total of three foil pouches for each ecb for a total of 9, but will probably only need 2 pouches each - never hurts to be prepared, i figure. also, i will do one thing i tried once before - i'll toss a frozen can of apple juice (thawed to room temperature) into each water pan when i fill it with water. i don't have a clue if it will do anything for the flavor, but i know it won't hurt!

so, i think i am as ready as can be - utensils ready, ECBs ready, ribs doing whatever they do when they sit in mustard and rub overnight in the fridge, charcoal, wood chips foil, etc. i THINK i am prpared for an informal rib cook-off - i guess i'll find out later today.

#3 son also figured it is important to set the right atmosphere, so he filled his MP3 player with good, clean upbeat music (he listens to a mishmash of new and old country, new and old rock and even 50s and 60s stuff, so it should all be good) that we will play at our station (no tents, booths stc., this will be in a parking lot, so i'll just plug the mp3 player to the van and open the rear door, i guess.

one last thing, i have a nice finishing glaze that i prepare form equal parts cider vinegar, dark brown sugar and mustard. this will go on a few minutes before the ribs come off. i've found it to really give the final little kick that makes it all worth it.

if anyone sees anything major that i have neglected, please feel free to let me know, i will check this when i wake up and will take all advice seriously. -

one thing that concerns me is the cooking form 1-6 pm - 5 hours seems to me to be cutting it close, especially when i was considering doing the 3/2/1 thing. perhaps i will scrap that idea and take my chances with the tenderness and juiciness of the ribs without foil wrap? i don't think anyone would mind if i started an hour earlier, but at the same time, i don't want to step on any toes inadvertantly. one thing's, for sure, i will be setting up, lighting charcoal plenty early, so that i can actually start at 1 pm - perhaps a 2/2/1 will work? i don't know.

[Starvaque]

Good luck bro, and happy birthday to your wife.

[Limp Brisket]

Since the people judging aren't really competition judges, they are everyday folks who normally like tender, bone falling out ribs as opposed to competition judges that like "bite clean" ribs, I think I'd wrap em.

I've cooked lots of ribs on an ECB but always one or two racks at a time and never wrapped them. They were always really good.

I think I'd do a 2-2-1 with all things considered.

Good luck and Happy Birthday to your wife!!!

[Reggae Q]

Limp brisket said what I was going to say. While I'm not a fan of "fall off the bone", the general public with not professional judges tend to like them like that so I'd look at doing the 2/2/1 especially since you only have 5 hours total.

Good luck and have fun

[Tater_68]

Very good read, let us know how it goes, good luck. Maybe if ya go 2-2-1 just up the temps a little.
_________________
Don�t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.
______________
WSM

[k.a.m.]

TasunkaWitko, wish your wife happy birthday please. I bet you and your family are gonna have a hoot. I would ask whomever about starting a little early so you can cook the way you feel comfortable with I would think as informal as this is they won't mind after all its a fundraiser. Great read for sure its like I was there and good luck. Try to post some pics.

[TasunkaWitko]

>>TasunkaWitko, wish your wife happy birthday please<<

yep, done several time s already today!

thanks for all of the advice and words of encouragement, guys -

beginning final preparations - will report later!

[davejschultz]

WOW...what an adventure...and kudos to wifeasaurus for being EXTREMELY understanding and encouraging. Please tell her happy birthday from a complete stranger

Please post how this turns out.

I also concur with the 2-2-1 method. Most of the public will want the meat to fall into the mouth rather than having to bite/pull off the bone. Makes for better beer drinkin.

GOOD LUCK!
_________________
If at first you don't succeed...eat the failure, go to the butcher, and try again.

Char-Griller Trio 3030 / Masterbuilt 30 Electric / Webber One Touch Gold / Small BGE

[TasunkaWitko]

>>>Please tell her happy birthday from a complete stranger <<<

will do, and i agree, she's a keeper!!


ok, i've got 9 foil pouches ready with my cherry/apple/maple blend and even took a few minuets to get all three ECBs modified with the stand-aolne charcoal pan mod. only thing left to do is make the mop and fininshing glaze.


never done anything like this before and am a bit worried, but will do my best. q-view should be no problem!

["Holy Smoke"]

TasunkaWitko,

First of all since I have no clue how to pronounce your user name you are forever nicknamed "TW" forme, I hope that's ok.

Secondly having 6 children myself I was rolling on the floor as you were describing your recruitment of them and thier responses. What an excellent read thanks for sharing. By the end I was thinking this would make a great movie.......and I was alos wishing I lived near by so I could jump in and help you win this thing.

Anyway, please share with us all of the details when finished I'll be waiting, PICS included.

"Holy Smoke"

[BBQMAN]

Best wish's to the wife, and best of luck to you!

Lot of us August B-Day's here.

I guess folks were "getting busy" a lot in the winter!
_________________
BBQMAN
"I Turned A Hobby Into A Business".
Providing "IMHO" Since 2005.

[Harry Nutczak]

TW,

I think the wife would enjoy you having the kids with you most of the day,

it should give her some of that "Alone Time" that so many women seem to enjoy.

Good luck at the comp. and remember the main thing is to have fun with it!!

And happy B-day to the other half too.
_________________
Just remember that the toes you may step on during your climb to the top will also be attached to the a$$es you'll be forced to kiss on your way back down!

[TasunkaWitko]

harry - you called it right - the alone time was appreciated!

bbqman - getting busy in the winter is something that must be done in climates such as ours - if not for the "fun" of it, than to keep warm!

holy-smoke - TW works for me, but in case you're interested, it is ta-shoon-ka wit-ko, lit's a lakota (sioux indian) name translating into "crazy horse), who in my opinion, was the finest patriot on this continent, even though on the losing side. a for the kids, i hear ya there, sometimes it is strange to think that so many different personalities sprang from the same loins!

read on, fellow Q-ers!

[TasunkaWitko]

well, folks - this was certainly an interesting journey. i'll try to tell the story but keep it a little shorter than my original post!

we were running about 15 minutes to a half-hour late all day yesterday, but did get there, get the ECBs set up and had meat on by 130pm - then someone said that he was pretty sure the turn-in time was 630, so i figured heck yeah, it's all good. interestingly enough, we were one of only three teams smoking, and i was the only one with ECBs. the other two smoking teams consisted of an entire trailer that looked like a whole shed on wheels (very nice) and another one that looked like a large home oil-heating tank modified into a smoker - both were nice pits. the rest were grilling (indirect heat) on gas grills in batches and one was cooking over a long charcoal set-up that looked like a sawed-off horse trough on legs. the fellow next to me is a neighbor of mine - he was on a gas grill and there were a lot of good smells coming out of his grill.

i didn't get as much smoke going as i wanted, i think due to OVERsoaking the woodchips in the foil pouches and also the fact that the grates were extremely full with little or no room between most meat portions. we squeezed the pouches dry and opened them up more than we would have normally, and this helped. i must reiterate here that if you haven't tried an equal blend of cherry, maple and apple, give it a try sometime for some of the sweetest, most outdoorsy smoke aroma and flavor you can imagine. my cherry and apple came from the makers of the little chief smoker, and if i remember correctly there is a bit of alder blended in as well. in any case, it was just right - there just didn't seem to be enough of it! also, i used a combination of kingsford lump and a new one that we found in great falls called cowboy band (bought at home depot) both performed well and i like them both, although the cowboy brand has a little less smoke smell, it does have more chunks that are the right size. too much of kingsford's stuff seems too small, but it smells great when it is going.

we smoked for two hours, then wrapped each grate entirely in foil and put them back on for 2 hours as per the 2/2/1 concept. temperature control was pretty good except at the beginning it took longer than i wanted to to get up to temp (this was most likely because we only had hot - not boiling- water available to fill the water pans) and at the end i had trouble staying where i wanted to be as the charcoal started to fall off and we tried to replace it with hot coals, but for the most part it was OK. running three ECBs is a bit like coordinating a 3-ring circus when it comes to tending the charcoal and mopping the meat (if anyone is interested in the mop recipe, see my post topic titled "tweaking a good rib rub" or shoot me a PM - it's good stuff!), but other than that things pretty much took care of themselves.

when we removed the foil, i stoked up the heat a bit and threw on the last foil pouches, as well as a few dry chips, in order to get a heavy does of smoke in that last hour. maybe 15 minutes later, a guy comes out and tells eveyone to bring em in. i look at my watch - 6pm - well, so much for 630! i try to keep them on as long as possoble, but ended up having to bring them in after smoking only a half hour (during the final stage), so it turned out to be a 2/2/.5. not quite what i wanted, but hey, i was here just for fun anyway, so i wasn't too concerned. we piled the ribs (which had been pre-cut by the organizers of the event into long portions across the bones - country style ribs were also long portions) onto two foil-lined platters and carried them in with our heads held high.

let me interject here that by design, my oldest son was to stay at home, prepare the finishing glaze (recipe in post above) and bring it right before 630pm. because of the fact that we ended up bringing them in sooner, he actually arrived right after we had the ribs on the platter and covered with foil. it would have been almost perfect timing under the original plan, but as it was, it was a little late - i decided to turn this procedural lemon into lemonade by serving the glaze on the side as a finishing sauce. the yellowish color (which would be considered extremely unique in these parts) would add a great visual contrast as well as good flavor, and give them something to talk about.

when we got in, we discovered that everyone else's ribs had recently been cut into slightly-larger-than-bite-sized portions and laid out in serving pans on a long table. each portion was skewered with a different-colored toothpick. because we had stayed out so long trying to squeeze that last bit of smoke in, we had missed this opportunity for portioning and skewering.

i found out then (newbie that i was!) that people who wanted to attend the feed paid the door charge, came in, walked the line and got a sample of each entry, then voted on a sheet of paper for their favorite based on the color/type of toothpick. a good, fair way to do it, i judged (no pun intended!). also, each team's entries were, technically, to be served by someone other than the team members. we ended up having to do this ourselves, but i was glad for the opportunity because this gave me a chance to greet each person and answer any questions that they might have. also, i immediately decided that instead of serving the glaze on the side as a sauce, i would drizzle it over the platters and trust gravity (and the shifitng around as we cut them into portions) to make sure each portion got a bit of the color and flavor of the glaze. as it turns out, this idea worked better than expected but not quite perfectly.

two factors complicated the situation. the first was that the only open spot left was at the starting end of the long table, so we were last inside but first on the line. this meant that while i or my oldest son was serving, the younger two boys were cutting and tooth-picking them. it looked a little hectic but at the same time it looked "busy" if you know what i mean, like a team in motion. the other hindering factor was that they ran out of toothpicks in our color (restaurant toothpicks wrapped with orange foil at one end) so we ended up serving about half of our portions with a restaurant toothpick that was colored yellow. my oldest boy did a good job of explaining this to as many comers as possible. meanwhile the 6-yr old played out his part as mascot (which didn't require much acting from him as he is quite a character). he went around talking to people and cadging samles of each entry, then decided he was going to vote for the dad of his buddy down the table instead of mine. what can i say, he's a great kid when it comes to comic relief.

was i happy with the results of my efforts? well, i'd say it ws close to 75/25.

on the plus side, i had only heard about this the night before and i put it together very well in a short time. i took the "hard" road by using charcoal ECBs and tended my fires while most others just put the ribs on and then went into the bar. i was one of the very few people doing them in the southern barbecue style - nearly all others were making some great looking and smelling ribs, but they were using methods and recipes that would have complimented beef much more than pork. everything i coked was juicy and fork tender, with all but the thickest pieces having a great smoke ring.

on the minus side, i didn't know what i was doing and the resulting confusion led me to be more unorganized than i prefer. i didn't get as much smoke as i would have liked and the thicker portions had no real bark. there were a few crispy, almost burned ends on some of the ribs, but ironically, these got the most smoke flavor and in py opinion were the best tasting. i didn't quite use as much rub as i should have and they came off as slightly lacking in the BBQ flavor that i like with that rub.

the glaze was not applied as i would have preferred, missing a chance to put that wet/dry sheen on my entries. this was counterbalanced by the fact that i think that, for the crowd i was serving, it was actually better that it was done the way it got done - (we don't do things wrong up here, just a little different!).

after a pre-determined point, the servers for the other entries left and the event became more of a serve-yourself kind of thing. because we were still cutting and skewering, this gave us a chance to continue to greet with people, visit with them and serve them personally. i had several compliments on my ribs and many "return customers," so to speak. one guy looked over each of the entries carefully, finally saw ours, and said, THOSE are the ones i was looking for!" and grabbed a few and went back to his table. received a few comments on how different they were and because of the unique method, look and flavor might have missed out a bit, but overall i was satisfied with the results while also keeping in mind the parts where i didn't do as well as i wanted to personally.

when it was getting toward the end, i loaded up a couple of styrofoam trays with portions to take back home to share with my wife and save for tomorrow (today!) and left a few for any late comers or those who wanted 2nds or 3rds. i figured that my lack of experience and the other factors kept me out of any placings and i wasn't even on any radar for placings. we went out, gathered our stuff up into our minivan and were about to leave when my mother, (who had attended) came out and said that she saw the results sheet. as it turned out, we placed third! well, i must say, i was pretty proud of that and very pleased, in spite of the fact that 3rd place won no prize. then i found out that the only thing separating third from first was three votes, which means that four more votes would have earned us the win! my boys and i didn't vote, as i figured that would be a bit unsporting; but then we found out that the four-person team who did win first place voted for themselves, and i am sure that was also the case with the 2nd place team. that, plus the toothpick color confusion just might have kept us out of the money.

i wasn't angry or disappointed or anything, but i did think to myself, well there it is, you could have taken first! instead of lamenting the money i missed out on (i still don't know how much it was), i took a little pride in the fact that we earned what we got with a clean vote and still came so close to having the best entry - not bad for someone who had never done this and had only heard about it the night before.

will i be in next year? you bet!

oh, and i must say, after sitting in the fridge overnight and reheating, these things are still pretty darn good!

finally, i want to give recognition to my sons who served as my team! all did very well and came through when i needed them most, and that was much appreciated. good way to spend time with family!

one bit of bad news - no q-view! #3 son forgot to grab the camera and wife was unable to attend with her camera phone because she was feeling very unwell (i won't go into details, but her ailment started with the letter "CRAMPS!")

i am hoping that the local paper will come out with a few pix and will also try to check with a couple of other people who were there.

well, this was a bit longer than intended, but a great experience. please feel free to offer any comments, advice or criticisms as i do want to learn and improve if possible.

thanks to all!

[Tater_68]

Great story TW, what a great way to spend time with the kids. And good job I like the fact you did not vote for yourself.
_________________
Don�t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.
______________
WSM

[burgandy-smoke]

Seems like you had a nice introduction to "Competition" BBQ, and some quality family for no extra charge.

It sounds like you did a great job, especially considering all of the things that you had going against you. I wonder how many ECB's do you see at the big comps?
_________________
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain

["Holy Smoke"]

TW, what a great read thanks very much for sharing with us. Also thanks for the history of your name. Congrats on your 3rd place finish.

So I was wondering if your old man will ever see his cooker again

"Holy Smoke"

[Mrs. K.A.M.]

That's a great story, keeping it in the family, sounds like you have some good kids. Happy Bday to your wife and tell her I understand her plight.

[Fatrat]

Great story Crazy Horse, nothing beats that kind of time with the boys, even if you had not placed. Years and years from now they will remember the vote, noting that character is a lifelong achievement, not a thing that you can attain without great effort and discipline.

Ray
_________________
Only when humor is married with intelligence does it become wit, until then it's just another dumb assed thing better left unsaid...


Brinkmann Southfork Smoker
Weber One Touch gold
Weber Performer
UDS
Cast Hibachi

[TasunkaWitko]

>>>So I was wondering if your old man will ever see his cooker again<<<

when i "borrowed" it for a smoke on the 4th of july, i rationalized it by saying that he hasn't used it in over 10 years, in fact has never even used it except to season it, so he won't mind"

he was slightly distressed to see the mods that i implemented (as per www.randyq.com), but when i explained each mod and why, he quickly saw the advantages. he dropped by a couple of times during the smoke yesterday and also came with my mom to the actual feed/judging, so perhaps i sparked his interest a bit. if he does ask for it back, i hope it is because he wants to smoke something with it!

until then, i'll keep it "safe."

to all thanks for the congratulations. there were only 10 entries, so placing 3rd isn't a huge deal, but it was a great time and the experience with the boyz was the best.